Dirty Little Secret
by Luna32
Summary: When Harry and Ron land themselves with detention from their favorite teacher, Snape, the boys and the teacher get way more than they wanted, when Momiji appears along with Yuki, Kyo and Haru.


Disclaimer: J

Disclaimer: J.K Rwoling isn't' this bad, that's why she's rich.

Author's Notes: I'm probably about to either piss lots of people off or leave them with a new duo, but I don't care. I have writer's block. It's the best excuse to do stupid stuff in the world next to 'I'm a teenager' and 'I'm just extremely immature'. This was inspired by something I saw on youtube called Holla Back Boy Momiji version, and a link to something with the word snake it in. Sorry if I butcher people's names. It's been a while and my spelling is horrible. Plus I'm too lazy to look crap up.

Harry stared desperately at his potions book, hands flipping frantically through pages, as he tried to find what the hell he had done wrong. The liquid wasn't supposed to be black and smelling like dead rotting fish, but a shimmering purple color. Harry just couldn't figure it out. Where had he gone wrong? Beside him, wrong had managed to create something that looked like smoldering green tar. To Harry's right Herminie was singing to herself and stirring a perfectly looking potion, purple in color, shimmering top, and not smelling like something weeks old that had died.

"Well Potter," sneered Snape, looking down his long, crooked nose, at Harry's potion. "It seems you've managed to screw up another potion."

Harry glared up defiantly as Snape sneered. "Detention."

Snape's eyes snapped over to Ron's potion. "You too Weasley."

"That's not fair," shouted Ron. "We have quidditch practice tonight. You can't do this!"

The potion master's smile deepened. "Looks like they'll just have to manage without their great captain and keeper. Tonight, seven right here."

"That son of a–" Harry, grumbled walking down the dungeon corridors as they made their way up to the Great Hall.

"Harry, don't you dare finish that sentence," scolded Hermonie.

"Well he is," agreed Ron. "Out potions weren't even the worst and yet we're the ones with detention. It's a conspiracy. The only reason Snape hates us is because of Harry's Dad, Harry, and the Dark Lord," Ron counted.

Hermonie rolled her eyes. "I know that." She placed her bad on one of the tables, grabbing some bread form one of the plates in front of her. "And yes it is unfair, but there is nothing you can do about it. And besides, you both could you some practice with your potions." Harry and Ron's jaws dropped.

"You're agreeing with him," they both half yelled.

Hermonie held they're gazes. "Well you both are pretty bad at potions."

"I just lost my appetite," exclaimed Ron, dropping his fork on his plate.

"Me too," agreed Harry. "We'll be in the common room." The two picked up their bags and left.

Seven hours and nineteen minutes later, and after much muttering, talk of curses and hexes, lots of dirty words, and vows of revenge, Harry and Ron found themselves in the potion master's room once more. Their duty for the night, recopying all the old detention cards of previous students, their crimes, and punishments, it was boring, long, and stupid work that neither of the boys enjoyed. Snape sat at his desk, making notes on a piece of paper, when the scrapping of the dungeon door opening reached their ears.

"Snappy!" came the yelling voice of a young boy. Both Harry and Ron turned in time to see a blond haired boy, run into the room, heading straight for the potion's master as he stood up out of his chair, face cold, calm, but still mad looking.

"What are you doing here," he asked the blonde boy. He was young, probably not even out of elementary school, Harry thought. Fair skinned too, if Harry hadn't heard his voice he would have thought the boy a girl. He even had purple nail polish on and a sailor schoolgirl uniform.

"I got bored," replied the boy, running up and hugging Snape. Harry and Ron looked at each other, strangely weired out, but neither could tell why.

"Get out," replied the potion's master. "Now is not the time for this."

"Oh don't be cold, Snappy. You're not Kyo." The boy turned his puppy dog eyes on Snape. "Let's go have some fun." The implications were clear to everyone in the room.

"I don't like guys. I'm not the headmaster," glared Snape coldly. He looked like he was about ready to explode.

The boy only continued to look up at Snape. "You did last night."

Harry looked at Ron. Ron looked at Harry. Both of them were about ready to explode laughing. Both of them were extremely creeped out.

The boy took Snape's hand, trying to drag him over to the potion's ingredients closet. "Come on, five minutes."

Snape sighed, exasperated. "Potter, Weasley, your dismissed." He turned his attention back to the boy next to him. "I'm sure I have something for this," he muttered to himself, heading toward the closet.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing to our cousin?" Shouted a voice from the door. Harry and Ron turned to see three boys standing in the entranceway of the room. The boy yelling had orange hair. To his left stood a slightly taller boy with white hair, yet somehow he had black roots. Must have been dyed Harry thought. To the orange haired guy's left was a gray haired boy, who was oddly feminine too. "You sick bastard. He's underage."

"Calm down Kyo," said the gray haired boy addressing the orange haired one. "Momiji, come here," he said to the boy next to Snape.

Momiji shook his head. "No, Snappy is my friend."

Kyo's hands clenched into a fist. "I said get the hell over here, now!"

Haru rubbed his eyes. "I'll take care of this. Kyo come with me." he said, walking up to Momiji and pushing him away from the potion's master.

"Hell no," shouted Kyo. "Take Yuki."

"What ever," said the cow, grabbing Snape by the robes. His eyes looked at he potion master in and oddly perverted away, that meant nothing good was about to come. "You fuck with one of us, and you fuck with all of us." He dragged Snaped over to the closet and slamming the door.

"Poor Snappy," muttered Momiji, pulling a lollypop out of his pocket, sticking it in his mouth. He bounded over to Harry and Ron, followed by his two other cousins. "I'm Momiji, who are you two."

Kyo smacked the boy over the head. "What the hell is wrong with you. You stupid rabbit."

Momiji put his hands on his head, eyes welling with tears. "WAAAAAAAAAAA, Kyo hit me."

"You deserve it you stupid rabbit. What were you thinking. I cant' believe–"

"We're just leaving," said Harry, rushing for the door followed by Ron at his heels. Neither said a word all the way up to the portrait of the fat lady.

Hermonie and Jenny were lounging around in the common room, working on their homework, when Ron and Harry entered the room. They looked like they'd just been clubbed over the head by a troll.

"What's up with you two," asked Jenny. Ron looked at Harry.

"Was detention really that bad?" questioned Hermonie.

Harry looked at Ron. Neither knew what to say. They just looked at each other, very, very, very, very, scared to ever go back to potions class. "Um," started Harry. "Um, Snape's gay and we're going to bed." The two boys left, heading up to the boy's staircase, leaving Hermonie and Jenny looking at each other, just as confused looking as both Harry and Ron.

Hermonie turned back to her homework. "At least we don't have to worry about that rumor of him looking down girl's shirts."

Jenny nodded, going back to her work. "Not our problem."

Two days later Ron, Hermonie, and Harry found themselves back in potions class, a very uncomfortable situation for both of the boys and not just because both their potions were turning out completely wrong either.

The sound of the door scrapping open screeched through the room, as Haru appeared, leaving against the frame. "Hey Snappy," he said, slyly. "I'm back. I tell you, Rin is just being a bitch and–" he continued walking into the room, rubbing his eyes.

Snapped muttered a curse underneath his breath. "Class dismissed," he shouted, turning for his desk. "Everyone get out. Don't bother cleaning up, I'll take care of it."

Author's notes: Ok how many people have I scared for life, please raise your hands? It could have been worse, a lot worse, but I'm not that bad. I like yaoi, but not graphic. Like I said, I had writer's block, so not my fault.


End file.
